December Has Been Odd

What is odd is getting H1N1, followed by pneumonia, followed by a stomach flu, followed by a sinus cold.

Lohagad

Lohagad (literally "Iron fort" in Marathi) is one of the many hill forts of Chatrapati Shivaji. It is situated 52 km from Pune in western India. Lohagad is at an elevation of 3,450 feet (1,052 m). (Mitesh Asher)

I Decapitated a Roach

This morning, just after waking up, I saw a large roach running up and down the sides of the kitchen sink.  I swatted him with a rolled-up magazine, but it was not a direct hit -- he landed on the floor, upside-down, his legs clawing at the air.  Before he could turn himself over, I hit him again, harder, and when I hit him his head came off and shot across the floor.  His legs were still moving, and when I walked over to look at his head, pinched cleanly off, his antennae were still functioning, still trying to get a sense of things.  I scooped the pieces up and threw them away.

Jesus Christ dumped from jury pool for disruption

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091202/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_jesus_jury_duty

Wed Dec 2, 3:44 pm ET

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. – Court officials say a Birmingham woman who changed her name to Jesus Christ didn't live up to it when she reported for jury duty this week. The woman, previously named Dorothy Lola Killingworth, was sent to Judge Clyde Jones's courtroom for a criminal case Monday.

Court officials told The Birmingham News Tuesday that the 59-year-old was excused because she was disruptive and kept asking questions instead of answering them.

Efforts to reach Christ for comment were unsuccessful.

Court administrator Sandra Turner said people there were shocked when the woman insisted her name was Jesus Christ and some potential jurors laughed out loud when her name was called.

But Turner said unlike some Jefferson County residents, Christ didn't try to get out of jury duty and was "perfectly happy to serve."

No Access

Route 30A stretches along about 30 miles of the Florida panhandle coastline.  Lots of people each year drive a long way to get to 30A or one of the other strips close to the water.  Staying at the beach, after all, is fun.  Most of the property bordering the beach, however, is privately owned, so it's unlikely that you'll just be able to park your car anywhere and walk down the water.  What you will see is this:  Gates and signs and fences, and I'm sure this is true for many beaches in the country.  You can be really close to the water, but you will not be allowed to just walk to it.  You will have to find, unless you own a bit of that property next to the water, or unless you are staying at a place next to the water, an access point in which the public is allowed to pass.  If you look, you will find government-guaranteed walkways every few miles, almost like secret entrances.  That is your access point, your walkway to the ocean.

Sunset on the Beach

I saw the sun setting, the reflection stretching across the water to the horizon.  This was odd only in the sense I don't see it very often and it was very striking.  I saw a pelican nose dive for a fish, then I watched him swallow the fish.  I looked at a seagull and it looked at me, waiting for something, food, I think.  I listened to Mozart on my iPod while I walked along the shore, and everything seems so much more grand when you listen to Mozart, even a sunset at the beach.  I saw a guy sitting on bongo drum of some sort, and he banged on his drum, I guess along with the beat from the music on his MP3 player.  A sand crab came out early and I poked around a little bit at him with a stick, though I didn't harm him.  I didn't take this photograph; I just wanted to add a visual.

Can I have some Jesus?

Again, Nathan, with an odd religious remark, or at least what we thought was a religious remark.  He walks into the kitchen while we were talking about Sunday's message and asks, "Can I have some Jesus?" That cracked us up.  But then we realized, he was asking for Cheez-Its, not Jesus, and that cracked us up some more.

Water on Four Sides

I Thought You Were God

I called to Nathan, our four-year-old, the other day from my office window; he was playing outside on the front steps.  He looked up and around and couldn't see me.  I called again and he found me in the office window.  He laughed and said, "I thought you were God."

One-Stop Shopping at Walmart

Shop now...

To Be Fair, I Do Sometimes Feel Like This

There Are Times When I Feel Like This

Bullhook

The bullhook, by design, is intended to cause pain and puncture the skin. Despite its appearance, an elephant’s skin is as sensitive as humans’ skin. The sharp metal hook on the end of the bullhook bruises, punctures, and tears elephants’ skin easily and often. Former Ringling animal crew employees report that the circus keeps a bag of topsoil handy to cover up bloody bullhook wounds on elephants.  Source:  http://www.circuses.com/ringling.asp

Every Once In a While I Feel Like This

Cigarette Box Warning (Europe)

This is What I Feel Like Some of the Time

This is What I Feel Like A Lot of the Time

Missing Link? The Unchanging Truth from Science and the Media

May, 2009:  This is the first link to all humans ... truly a fossil that links world heritage. 

October, 2009:  ‘Missing link’ primate isn’t a link after all

This Water is Different

Evan doesn't like to waste anything.  Anything.  Tonight we stopped at the Varsity for a couple of hotdogs.  And water.  As we finished, Evan was reluctant about throwing his water away.  So he sat there and drank big gulps, then got up and drank more big gulps.  "Evan," I said.  "You don't have to drink it all.  It's just water."  That didn't work, so I had to get to the heart of the matter:  "Evan, if you drink all that water you might pee in your bed tonight."  "I'll pee before I go to bed," he said.  Finally, I coaxed him into ditching the cup, but after he did it, he started crying.  Then I tried to soothe him.  "It's okay," I said, "if you're thirsty when we get home, you can have more water.  We have more water at home.  We have lots of water."  "But this water is different," he said.  I tried to convince him that, no, the water is the same, and we have lots of it.  I can fill a bathtub with water if I want to, I told him.  "But this water is different," he said.  No, it's the same.  Just ask your Mom.

Ted Williams' frozen head used for batting practice at cryogenics lab

(from the nydailynews.com)


Workers at an Arizona cryonics facility mutilated the frozen head of baseball legend Ted Williams - even using it for a bizarre batting practice, a new tell-all book claims.

In "Frozen," Larry Johnson, a former exec at the Alcor Life Extension Foundation in Scottsdale, Ariz., graphically describes how "The Splendid Splinter" was beheaded, his head frozen and repeatedly abused.

The book, out Tuesday from Vanguard Press, tells how Williams' corpse became "Alcorian A-1949" at the facility, where bodies are kept suspended in liquid nitrogen in case future generations learn how to revive them.

Johnson writes that in July 2002, shortly after the Red Sox slugger died at age 83, technicians with no medical certification gleefully photographed and used crude equipment to decapitate the majors' last .400 hitter.

Williams' severed head was then frozen, and even used for batting practice by a technician trying to dislodge it from a tuna fish can.

The chief operating officer of Alcor for eight months before becoming a whistleblower in 2003, Johnson wrote his book while in hiding, fearful for his life.

Forsaken

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

       Why are you so far from saving me,

       so far from the words of my groaning?

O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,

       by night, and am not silent.

Psalm 22:1-2

Iron Maiden

(from Wikipedia) An iron maiden (German Eiserne Jungfrau) is a torture device, consisting of an iron cabinet, with a hinged front, sufficiently tall to enclose a human being. It usually has a small closeable opening so that the torturer can interrogate the victim and torture or kill a person by piercing the body with sharp objects (such as knives, spikes or nails), while he or she is forced to remain standing.

Alienated & Alone

Ex-Falcon QB spent sad life in long, lonely end zone

My Fescue Crop

It's odd how much effort I put into growing fescue, as if I were a farmer and a full dinner table depended on my success.  Comparatively speaking, compared to neighbors and to those living in the more pristine neighborhoods, I don't really put that much effort into growing fescue, but even so, to me, it seems like a lot.  I aerate (rather I pay a man with a large tractor to aerate), I plant seed, I fertilize, I hope for rain.  I wait and watch and keep hoping for rain.

CouchSurfing

"CouchSurfing is a worldwide network for making connections between travelers and the local communities they visit."

A Crab Suddenly

Logan and I were looking for shells along shore's edge at the Gulf, had been doing so for a while, when I nearly stepped on a crab which scuttled away very quickly.  That was unexpected, and it was odd.

Distressing Furniture

'Distressing Furniture in the decorative arts is the activity of making a piece of furniture or object appear aged and older, and there are many methods to produce an appearance of age and wear. Distressing is viewed as a refinishing technique although it is the opposite of finishing in a traditional sense. In distressing, the object's finish is intentionally destroyed or manipulated to look less than perfect, such as with sandpaper or paint stripper. For example, the artisan often removes some but not all of the paint, leaving proof of several layers of paint speckled over wood grain underneath. This becomes the "finished" piece.'

Gregor

"One morning, when Gregor Samsa woke from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin."

Tom Brady

Lifted from founders ministries blog, circa 2007.

Tom Brady, the 3-time Super Bowl champion quarterback of the New England Patriots was featured the week in a 60 Minutes interview with Steve Kroft on CBS. Brady is already a sports legend in one of the citadels of professional sports in America, Boston. His current team is 15-0 and is poised to finish the season undefeated, something that hasn't been done in the NFL in 35 years. He has won the Super Bowl MVP twice and been named to the Pro Bowl 4 times. He also was recently named the Associated Press' "Male Athlete of the Year."

He has dated actresses and supermodels and makes millions of dollars a year. He has been called America's most eligible bachelor. By most popular standards, he has it all. That is why I was struck by hearing him make the following statement during the interview:

"Why do I have three Super Bowl rings and still think there's something greater out there for me? I mean, maybe a lot of people would say, 'Hey man, this is what is.' I reached my goal, my dream, my life. Me, I think, 'God, it's got to be more than this.' I mean this isn't, this can't be what it's all cracked up to be."

When Kroft asked him, "What's the answer?" Brady responded, "I wish I knew. I wish I knew. I love playing football and I love being quarterback for this team. But at the same time, I think there are a lot of other parts about me that I'm trying to find."

A Letter From Mom

I went looking for a few books in a box and found letters from my mother and father while I was in army training.  Here's an excerpt from one of my mother's letters, dated 9/10/84, about 25 years ago:

"I must tell you, Jim -- I really admire you -- for everything you are doing and accomplishing -- I will do everything in my power to help you in any way I can.  I think you are a very special person and I love you very much.  Don't ever forget that, OK?"

Hair On My Ears, In My Ears

Speaking of hair, since when did tending to the hair in my ear(s) and on my ear(s) become a necessary part of my personal hygiene?  Sometimes I catch a hair growing a centimeter or two off the outer edge of one my ears, disguised by the hair on my head and suddenly exposed by a haircut.  Nobody mentioned that I'd have to be concerned with this as I grew older.

A Little Something for Thinning Hair

My haircutter suggested, unbidden, a little something for "thinning air" as she was cutting my hair.

Groom Dies on Wedding Day

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/crime/2009/09/13/wral.nc.groom.killed.wral

Apple Jacks

On the side of the box of Apple Jacks, it says in a large typeface:  "Family life is better when your kids are healthy."  There are so many things I dislike about this, it's hard to know where to start.  How about here:  And what does eating Apple Jacks have to do with having healthy kids?  And: Why are you morons stating the obvious?  And:  Are you trying to make us feel guilty if our kids aren't healthy?  And:  What about the parents who have kids struggling with ongoing or chronic health issues, how do you suppose they feel when they read this?  "Our family is not as good as it could be! Well, we've got to get you healthy, Mary Jane, so we can have a better family life!  Let's go, Honey!"  And:  How does a kid who is ill feel when he or she reads this, you morons!  "Our family life is not good because I am not healthy.  It's my fault Mom and Dad scream at each other."  Your marketing department ought to be fired.  

Introduction to the Glib

Glib, I well know, is not a noun.  It's an adjective, and it's one of those words that you kind of know what it means but if someone pressed you for a definition right now you would be a little challenged perhaps to provide a precise definition, and that's kind of frustrating, at least for me, because I love precise definitions.  Glib describes someone (or perhaps the way someone talks or writes) in which the person has a lot to say and it flows pretty easily but there isn't much depth.  It's insincere.  Glib can come in the form of an adverb (glibly, as in you write glibly, which is awkward I think) and in the form of a noun (glibness, the speech was full of glibness, which is also awkward).  Glib comes from the Dutch glibberig, meaning 'slippery," and from the German glibberig, meaning 'slimy,' and I guess those are not very positive connotations.  At any rate, I know well what glib is, because...well, I am glib.

A Diamond Ring in the Bathroom at the Movies

Cheryl found a diamond ring, at least it looked a lot like a diamond, in the bathroom at the movie theater.  The question is, obviously, why would somebody take off a diamond ring in the bathroom at the movies?

Kentucky in Spanish

Evan:  "How do you say 'Kentucky' in Spanish?"
Me: "Kentucky."
Evan:  "How do you say it in real life?"
Me: "Kentucky."

Ants

My son likes to eat ants.

An Incredible Guy

I saw an incredible thing yesterday, and yes incredible things are odd things.  I saw Samuel's father get up and speak at his son's funeral service, and I realized that there really are heroes in this world and not just in the movies, though they are so much more rare in life.  When he started walking to the front of the gathering, I thought, NO WAY, no way is this guy going to say something, but he did, and not only that he spoke of his hope and comfort in Christ, and of the difficult journey they've been on, and it was amazing.  Bryan, you are my hero, my friend. 

Stopped in Traffic

It's awkward a little bit when traffic slows or stops in both directions on a two-lane road and you're suddenly looking into the eyes of oncoming drivers.  You're looking around out of boredom, looking at other drivers, and when you make eye contact of course you look away, not sure of what kind of road etiquette is called for.

Samuel's Mom

Life is odd for Samuel's mother:

"As I faced another day without Samuel, I was struck with how life goes on around me as though nothing has changed. I know this is a universal experience in hard times -- when we feel like time has stopped and nothing will ever be the same, we notice how everyone around us just carries on. Bills and catalogs still arrive in the mail, phone solicitors still call, people still post trivial tidbits as their status updates on facebook, and people still complain about the small stuff as though it was monumental. But for me and for Bryan and for those closest to us, life is forever altered."

Quiet

It's odd to me that I'm so quiet when I'm around people I don't know well.  I feel like somebody has stolen my words.

Here's what others say about quiet people, though I don't necessarily endorse these opinions:

They are thinking, "What's up with loud and obnoxious people? Why are they talking?"

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.”  --Benjamin Franklin

I sit among a group of people who I don’t know too well or I am new to and I analyze. I wonder who is more frequently the center of attention, who is always getting picked on or shamed, who speaks in quality over quantity, who has my sense of humor and who doesn’t, who is judging my being quiet, who I might have the most in common with, what my place or role be in this group, etc.

I am quiet in general. I choose my words carefully in the beginning, but once I feel comfortable I open up and end my quietness until someone new shows up. People who can just start up a conversation with a total stranger as if he has spoken to him/her before amaze me. I don’t like that they do that though. You never know if they’re speakin with a quiet person.

And they're annnoyed by the fools in the next cubicle over who keep arguing on about utter nonsense such as which footbowl player scored the most home runs last season, and so on... 

(I don't know if that last person was being funny or not.) 

Samuel Died

Samuel died and I don't know what to say about that.

Sometimes Everything is Odd

There are times when everything just seems odd.  Everything.  And yes, there are times, especially when I think of Baby Samuel, that I would like to ask God, "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

Under My Thumb

I think these lyrics are odd.  Mick Jagger said, "It's a bit of a jokey number, really. It's not really an anti-feminist song any more than any of the others..."

Under my thumb
The girl who once had me down
Under my thumb
The girl who once pushed me around

Its down to me
The difference in the clothes she wears
Down to me, the change has come,
Shes under my thumb

Aint it the truth babe?

Under my thumb
The squirmin dog whos just had her day
Under my thumb
A girl who has just changed her ways

Its down to me, yes it is
The way she does just what shes told
Down to me, the change has come
Shes under my thumb
Ah, ah, say its alright

Tickling

I think it's strange that a person is unable to tickle himself, or herself.

Hack

I'm such a hack, and I know it, and I don't care but I do care.

WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

Evan knocked over some of Nathan's toy soldiers this morning before school, and Nathan hollered, "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"  He was furious at the injustice, of course.  But, oddly enough, even though my nerves were a bit strained, I liked him saying, "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"  And I thought how I never ask that, and certainly not with that kind of force, even though there are so many things that people do in this world and to each other in which such a question is surely justified.  And there are so many things that I do in which I should also ask, "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"

DVD Rewinder

I saw a photo of a DVD Rewinder.  It must have a joke.

Baby Samuel

It's very odd how a baby just three weeks old that I've never met can impact my heart more than almost any preacher, theologian, inspirational speaker, or author I've ever heard or read.  He's such a tough little kid.  But mostly I pray a lot because Samuel needs prayer and so I spend lots of time with God and feel really close to Him. 

Hot Air

Mundane, sitting in traffic, again and again and again, day after day after day, the same route, again and again and again, work, work, work, again and again and again, you get the picture, and so I'm sitting there, Monday morning, in a long line of cars at the stop sign, when from behind the trees rose a hot-air balloon, and it moved toward me, the balloon a patchwork of colored squares, and it seemed so majestic and peaceful...I loved that balloon.

Legends of the Dull

I find it odd that even when I go to bed late, my body refuses to sleep in.  Get up, get up, it says, right at 6 ET, even if I'm in Central Time, and to make it worse, I went to bed late watching an awful movie called Legends of the Fall (1994).  You'd think a movie with Anthony Hopkins and Brad Pitt would have some merit, but, noooo, not this one. 

Even Vacations are Odd

I know, I know, I need to lighten up, but I have to say that the sense of things becomes rather odd when a large group of affluent people gather to vacation. Yes, the beach is beautiful. Yes, the time of leisure is nice. The pastel-painted condos, the white-picket fences, the palm trees, the restaurants, yes, yes, yes, all of that is wonderful, but there's something about the collective laziness and absence of industry that leaves me with a kind of sick feeling in my stomach, like when you eat too much of your favorite candy. Everybody's on vacation, so just relax, right? It's hard to relax because right there with the affluence are qualities I don't like to be around for very long: arrogance, a sense that "we pulled this off," laziness, a lack of good stewardship, a sense of privilege, materialism... My buddy says that everyone here wants to be a millionaire. Not just those visiting, but those running businesses, right down to the parking valet and the waitress. Everyone wants a piece of this action.

But hey, you say, whoa, what about you, Mr. Long-Weekend-in-Seagrove-Dude? You're right there with them, right? You're such the hypocrite! You're enjoying the leisure...others are probably looking at YOU and saying, all these rich people, they make me sick!

Well now, I would have to respectfully disagree. They would look at ME and say, hey, there's a righteous dude whose priorities are right on track! Look at him! I can tell he hasn't given into the dark side of affluence, he's down here for a short period of rest and relaxation. He's recharging his batteries. He's not one of us. Let's be more like him, God love him!

No Lists Today

I don't have a list today and that's odd for me. I'm just here at the beach with a lot of time on my hands, even if it's just for two days.

Some things I saw on the beach

I saw a lot of sandcrab holes, I saw sand pyramids and sand castles, I saw people walking, I saw sea gulls of course, I saw a pineapple wash up on the shore, I saw a pelican then I saw a pelican bob for fish, I saw a lot of rental condos in pastel colors, I saw a yellow flag, I saw a cigarette butt, I saw dark clouds, I saw lightening, I heard thunder in the distance then I heard thunder that sounded like someone hitting the outside shell of the sky with a big rubber mallet, and then I heard long thunder and I remembered the phrase "thunder rumbled in the sky," and I saw the sun come out from the dark clouds in a brilliant way that looked like religious imagery, I saw a crumpled Miller Lite beer can, I saw a guy setting up chairs and umbrellas, I saw it written in the sand that Brad loves Katie, I saw a tiny sandcrab, I saw sand that was lots of different shades of white, charcoal, beige, and I saw a lot of beach steps.

Tasers in Alabama

My buddy and I stopped at an Applebee's just inside the Alabama border for lunch. A guy at the bar volunteered a story. He wore an Alabama hat. He announced to the bartender and anyone else within earshot, which unfortunately included me and my buddy, how he got into a fight yesterday.

He explained how there was this man at a gas station who was bullying his wife. He said to the bully, hey you ought to pick on somebody your own size, so the bully punched this guy at the bar and knocked his tooth out, and he showed the bartender the spot where his tooth used to be.

Then the man at the bar described matter 0f factly how he then tasered the bully. "Yeah, I tasered him," he said. The police came, he said, but everything was caught on video because there were cameras running at the gas station. The bully was charged, but the man in the Alabama hat was not. "Look," he said, and he showed us where his tooth had been, but I didn't look because he was so anxious to tell everyone what a hero he was which didn't make him a hero to me at all. In fact I'm guessing he wanted the bully to hit him, that he just waits for that kind of thing. I looked everywhere but at this guy. "Yeah," he said again, "I tasered him."

Lists

I create lists all the time. I create a list each day at work of all the things I need to do and even the things I know I won't be able to do that day. I don't want to forget about anything, so I carry items over from one day to the next sometimes for weeks. I even make a list for my days off because there's so much I want to get done at home. I prioritize everything and check off items when I complete them.

I'm not alone.

Turbulence

I think it's strange how, as A. Stanley pointed out, that a few minutes of rough turbulence on a plane and suddenly you:

• Are very forgiving
• Love everyone
• Don't worry about your job
• Cannot be tempted
• Don't have to be told to pray

Designer Toilet Lids

http://www.artdetoilette.com

Average

It's odd to me how incredibly average I am. I help support the Bell curve. I help define normal. I exist so that you may stand out.

Bite Size is Not for Me

We have these little packs of bite-size cookie bags, Oreos, Chips Ahoys, and so on, and these bags are frustrating for me because there's never quite enough cookies in a bag. I don't like a limited supply. I like to gorge myself, and to do this I have to open several bags.

An Odd Thing I Don't Like

Baby Samuel was born with a heart defect and lung problems...that is odd, and it's sad, and I don't like it at all.

Sprinklers

It was raining really hard when I left work today, and the sprinklers were running.

Odd Things

I like the odd things.

Mendelssohn

I listened at the concert to Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in E minor, Opus 64, last night, and I realized that no matter how beautiful and how inspiring a piece of music is, I don't let myself be inspired and I haven't for a long time. There's a protective coating around my heart. I put it there. Of course, beyond the fact that I remembered it was Mendelssohn, I didn't remember which piece it was; I referenced the program I brought home so I could provide that bit of detail here. I am incapable of remembering those kind of details; I thought it would lend a bit of weight to this entry. I also thought of calling this entry, "How Mendelssohn Broke My Heart," but that sounded a bit affected and even more pretentious than the title I chose. And it would be ironic because he didn't break my heart in the traditional sense, he broke my heart in that for a moment I remembered what it was like to really dream again, or rather he broke the shell that has encased my heart; well, maybe not broke it, just cracked it a bit.

Maglite

It was an odd sound when the Maglite hit my son's front tooth, the accidental clink of aluminum alloy and enamel.

The Simple Life

I've noticed how difficult it is to keep things simple.

Larry

Larry was scheduled for gall bladder surgery today. He felt fine, so he canceled surgery. We played tennis instead. He won.

Squirrels

The squirrel that hangs upside down each day on the birdfeeder to get at the birdseed.