The 'Ole Showerhead Bait-and-Switch

The shower in our Westin hotel room had two showerheads, which looked interesting, something you'd want to try.  Then I read this sign on the shower wall:

One of your showerheads have been turned off to minimize water usage and to protect one of our most precious natural resources.

So you install two showerheads and then make us feel guilty for using it, but you're not really concerned with our "most precious natural resources," are you?  You are trying to save money and the concern for resources is just an easy front.  

I used both and took a long, hot shower.

Good with Ketchup

I saw a bumper sticker tonight:  Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

Always, Like, Wrong

"The book is always, like, wrong."  Julia, age 12, on her math textbook.

Dog Feces, Good Morning!

It's a little odd to me, every morning, that one of the first things I experience is my dog doing her duty in the backyard, back in the tree bed.  I can't really ignore it; I have to note where it lands, for if I don't cover the excrement up with leaves, I'll surely step in it some other morning.

I Touched a Brain

I touched a brain today.  http://www.bodiestheexhibition.com/

One Way to Stay Warm in the Winter

I know a woman who, when it gets cold in the house, will put hot curlers in her hair to stay warm.

I See Faces and Sometimes I See People

Sometimes when I'm driving I'll see faces in the rear of the car I'm following, in the quirky configuration of the rear lights or from a distance in a back door handle.  Sometimes it's a whole person.  Sometimes the faces (or the people) are turned horizontally.  I don't necessarily mean a big face, as in each rear light is an eye and the bumper is the mouth, no, not like that.  I mean in the rear light itself, or in how the door handle is shaped.  When I get really close they go away.

Cremating a Dead Body is Odd

I've learned a bit about cremating dead bodies this week, since my father was cremated.  Here is some information that I lifted from the Everlife Memorials website:

The funeral director must remove any items not wished to be cremated along with the body such as jewelry. If the deceased had a pacemaker or other type of medical device, it too will need to be removed to prevent an explosion from occurring during the cremation process.

The body is then placed in a cremation casket, usually made of wood, or more often a cremation container which is basically a large cardboard box with a plywood bottom for sturdiness. These types of containers will burn fairly well during the cremation cycle.

The funeral director or crematory operator will place an identification tag in the cremation container with the body to properly identify the cremated remains once returned to the funeral home. This is a very important step as it insures the family does not end up with the wrong set of cremated ashes.

The cremation container/casket containing the body is then placed in the cremation chamber from the end. The cremation chamber is lined with fire resistant bricks on the walls and ceiling. The floor is made from a special masonry compound formulated specifically to withstand extremely high temperatures. Once the body is in, the chamber door, which is about a half a foot thick, is closed either by hand or in some cases a switch as many of the newer models have automated doors.

The crematory operator then starts the machine which normally goes through a warm up cycle before the main burning begins. After the machine is warmed up, the main burner ignites starting the process of incinerating the body. Temperatures within the chamber often reach the 1800°F - 2000°F range. The burners within a cremator are fueled by either natural gas or propane.

It generally takes about 1-1/2 to 2 hours for a body to be completely reduced to just the bone fragments by cremation. Some cremation furnaces, especially the older ones, may require a little more time.

After the entire incinerating process is complete, a cool down period of 30 minutes to an hour is required before the bone fragments can be handled for further processing. When the time finally arrives, the cremated remains or bone fragments are removed from the cremation chamber and placed on a table work area. It is here that the crematory operator removes all metal debris such as screws, nails, surgical pins or titanium limbs/joints with a magnet and by hand.

The remaining bone fragments are then placed in a special processor which is kind of like a cross between a disposal unit from under a kitchen sink and a blender. This processor pulverizes the bone fragments to a fine powder called cremains or more commonly referred to as the ashes.

The ashes are then placed in a plastic bag within a temporary cremation container or an urn provided one is furnished to the crematory.

December Has Been Odd

What is odd is getting H1N1, followed by pneumonia, followed by a stomach flu, followed by a sinus cold.

Lohagad

Lohagad (literally "Iron fort" in Marathi) is one of the many hill forts of Chatrapati Shivaji. It is situated 52 km from Pune in western India. Lohagad is at an elevation of 3,450 feet (1,052 m). (Mitesh Asher)

I Decapitated a Roach

This morning, just after waking up, I saw a large roach running up and down the sides of the kitchen sink.  I swatted him with a rolled-up magazine, but it was not a direct hit -- he landed on the floor, upside-down, his legs clawing at the air.  Before he could turn himself over, I hit him again, harder, and when I hit him his head came off and shot across the floor.  His legs were still moving, and when I walked over to look at his head, pinched cleanly off, his antennae were still functioning, still trying to get a sense of things.  I scooped the pieces up and threw them away.

Jesus Christ dumped from jury pool for disruption

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091202/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_jesus_jury_duty

Wed Dec 2, 3:44 pm ET

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. – Court officials say a Birmingham woman who changed her name to Jesus Christ didn't live up to it when she reported for jury duty this week. The woman, previously named Dorothy Lola Killingworth, was sent to Judge Clyde Jones's courtroom for a criminal case Monday.

Court officials told The Birmingham News Tuesday that the 59-year-old was excused because she was disruptive and kept asking questions instead of answering them.

Efforts to reach Christ for comment were unsuccessful.

Court administrator Sandra Turner said people there were shocked when the woman insisted her name was Jesus Christ and some potential jurors laughed out loud when her name was called.

But Turner said unlike some Jefferson County residents, Christ didn't try to get out of jury duty and was "perfectly happy to serve."

No Access

Route 30A stretches along about 30 miles of the Florida panhandle coastline.  Lots of people each year drive a long way to get to 30A or one of the other strips close to the water.  Staying at the beach, after all, is fun.  Most of the property bordering the beach, however, is privately owned, so it's unlikely that you'll just be able to park your car anywhere and walk down the water.  What you will see is this:  Gates and signs and fences, and I'm sure this is true for many beaches in the country.  You can be really close to the water, but you will not be allowed to just walk to it.  You will have to find, unless you own a bit of that property next to the water, or unless you are staying at a place next to the water, an access point in which the public is allowed to pass.  If you look, you will find government-guaranteed walkways every few miles, almost like secret entrances.  That is your access point, your walkway to the ocean.

Sunset on the Beach

I saw the sun setting, the reflection stretching across the water to the horizon.  This was odd only in the sense I don't see it very often and it was very striking.  I saw a pelican nose dive for a fish, then I watched him swallow the fish.  I looked at a seagull and it looked at me, waiting for something, food, I think.  I listened to Mozart on my iPod while I walked along the shore, and everything seems so much more grand when you listen to Mozart, even a sunset at the beach.  I saw a guy sitting on bongo drum of some sort, and he banged on his drum, I guess along with the beat from the music on his MP3 player.  A sand crab came out early and I poked around a little bit at him with a stick, though I didn't harm him.  I didn't take this photograph; I just wanted to add a visual.

Can I have some Jesus?

Again, Nathan, with an odd religious remark, or at least what we thought was a religious remark.  He walks into the kitchen while we were talking about Sunday's message and asks, "Can I have some Jesus?" That cracked us up.  But then we realized, he was asking for Cheez-Its, not Jesus, and that cracked us up some more.

Water on Four Sides

I Thought You Were God

I called to Nathan, our four-year-old, the other day from my office window; he was playing outside on the front steps.  He looked up and around and couldn't see me.  I called again and he found me in the office window.  He laughed and said, "I thought you were God."

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To Be Fair, I Do Sometimes Feel Like This

There Are Times When I Feel Like This